Fickle Sun by Meg Pokrass
Last night, he told me he still likes her very much. "It's not always love, just sometimes, it's mostly the liking part," he says.
I did not say "I am here". I just listened to his words.
He told me that the concept of God is often missing from his life.
"I know," I said, having given up decades ago.
He said that sometimes he just wished there were more restaurants in town.
"Sometime I worry about that too," I said. "I miss having choices, anyway."
He said he missed sushi more than any other food. I don't think that sushi matters as much as he does, but I didn't say so.
He told me that dogs lick their owners because they miss them and want to taste them again.
"But this is only how you feel this week," I wanted to say.
There is no need to be upset about these times, I tell myself a few hours later, when he's off on his long walk, and may not return. These days will fade into the next days.
I stand up and I walk outside and think about what he thinks about.
I touch the water in the stream and it is so cold, the way her skin must have been.
I let the water remain on my fingertips so that I can feel her and so that I can love her too.
I look back at our house and it dims before it brightens as the clouds pass over the fickle sun. Sometimes I worry about you, I say to myself.
Meg Pokrass has published stories in McSweeney's, Gigantic, RATTLE, Five Points, Wigleaf, Smokelong, and numerous other literary magazines online and in print. Her work hasbeen internationally anthologized, most recently in the Norton anthology Flash Fiction International (W.W. Norton, 2015) and the forthcoming anthology New Microfiction (W.W. Norton, 2018). Meg received the Blue Light Book Award for her collection of prose poetry, Cellulose Pajamas (Blue Light Press, 2016). Her other collections include Damn Sure Right, My Very End of the Universe, Bird Envy and The Dog Looks Happy Upside Down.She is the flash fiction curator for Great Jones Street App, and curates the Bath Flash Fiction Festival (Bath, U.K.). You can learn more at megpokrass.com.